How can it be, that I had my first DNF but still feels like I had the race of my life?? Well, don’t get me wrong, words cannot describe how much I would have loved to finish that race. And it has taken me a long time to find out if I was sad, disappointed or how I was feeling. But the thing is, for the short time I was racing, I was racing hard and I was racing well. I had been anxious, nervous, excited –you name it, I felt it! – all week, try and top that up with a body in taper and you almost feel like walking next to yourself.
I admit it; I do talk a lot to myself. Leading up to the race that talking was not too positive. It was a huge women field, (which I think is very cool) but being in Australia, knowing it is a strong swim and tri nation, but not knowing the level of the participants, my head was all about: You will be the last one out of the water, I do not hope more than one wave of AG’s will catch me. And so on. I had no idea what the level would be like, and the suspense is always the worst!
What to do in a mental state like this? I called Coach Ben and Helle talked for 1h and felt like a new person… simple hugh!? I was ready to race, and I knew it, but sometimes you need someone else to convince you before really believing it
The talking to myself is still going on while racing. But for the first time ever I was not left behind in the rough swim and it was suddenly: “I can be a part of this”, “I can really do it”. I felt like I could keep pushing and was thinking: Good job we do long main sets in all sessions. I even caught up on some by the end and had a perfect run through T1, jumped on the bike ready to hunt more girls down.
The first part of the course was with tailwind and quickly I found a great rhythm, overtook girls, and was completely in my own world -did not care about the pouring rain or bad road conditions, it was all about keeping tension on the chain and the cadence going.
Riding back towards town, it was suddenly BUM, and then NOOOO!!! I don’t think I have ever screamed that high or hysterical. My rear wheel was flat! I had pit-stop with me, but it was all over me instead of in the tubeless and I think the hole was too big to fix anyway.
Waiting for a lift back to town my head was completely empty at first, no talking no nothing, but sitting there in the rain it slowly started again. The first that came to me was: ”I was able to compete in a field like this one. This is what I want to do.”
The rest of the day was spent cheering for Åsa! -Please see “Åsa and Maja on tour vol. 3” to know more about our time Down Under 😉